What Is That??

Could It Be??......Yes! I Think It is!!!

THE LIGHT AT THE END OF THE TUNNEL!!!!!

The rumors are saying that Jan 4th is PROBABLY the cut off for March referrals.
Missed it by 1 day.
But...IF true, then that could mean only ONE thing.................................
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I'M NEXT!!

FYI

How to clean your monitor from the inside! Click here

Birthday Dinner

My family took me out for my birthday.
It was nice to spend time with everyone. I hadn't seen one of my nieces since Christmas!!
There was a woman there also celebrating her birthday, her 90th Birthday!
And boy did she look good!
I hope I am around for my 90th. I want to be around as long as I can for my girls.
I can only hope that I take after my grandmother. She will be 100 in July!

A Group Shot


Me and My Girl!

Today is My Birthday

Guess what I wished for??
Hint... LID 1-5-06

Another Email From My Agency

OK, Here we go!!!! Another email from my agency regarding Travel Preparations!!
And I am sooooo not prepared. This is getting serious.
I better get going.
I think I will go to the bank tomorrow and ask about those "crisp bills".
Still haven't filed my taxes yet so I am going to get all the paperwork ready and drop it off.
I need to print out the email and start crossing off the list as I go along.
I must be in denial or something because I really don't think this is going to happen this soon!
SOON! What am I saying!! Its been a total of almost 4 years!! Yes, 4 years!!
I was on the Singles Waiting List (remember that list??) for a year!
I started this whole process in June of 2004. I was told that the list was long and plan to start the process in 2007 with travel in 2008.
When I got the call in July 2005 that I could start the process I was so excited!!
"What happened??" I asked my agency. "The list moved quicker than expected."
Plan on travel in 2006!! Yippee!!
Started the paperchase in October (got cold feet.... if I had only known) and was DTC Dec. 14, 2005 and LID Jan. 5, 2006. The wait was approx. 8-10 months so I planned on traveling in Oct.-Nov. of 2006!!

WRONG!....... And so the Nightmare began.
I guess I should have stayed with the original 2008 travel plans.

So here I am in 2008, a bit older and hopefully wiser and STILL not ready!
What is wrong with me??

Trying to remain calm

This, my friends is a chart that the Rumor Queen has predicted who should get their referrals and when.
As you can see Jan. 5 is in the Horrid March column! Which could mean that I will get a call next month with a referral! Which is about 2 WEEKS AWAY!!
I am really really trying not to get excited but sometimes I can't help it!
After almost 26 months of waiting, this seems a dream.
I can't help but wonder if Abigail has already been matched with us.
Just thinking about that makes me want to cry. I just can't believe this torturous wait may be over soon and I will see my daughter's face next month!
I know I know...the CCAA (China Center for Adoption Affairs) could possibly refer a very small batch. I keep telling myself that the cut off could very well be 12/31!!
So with all that said...
Stay Tuned...and maybe say a small Prayer.

Note:
A few have mentioned not being able to comment on my blog, so I am allowing anonymous comments. I will continue to moderate.

A New Look!

Thanks to Rebecca , my blog has a new look and I love it! Thanks again Rebecca!

Got a message from my Agency regarding Travel Preparations. They did mention that this does not mean that we would have a referral with the next batch, however it is a positive!!
Personally I think I will get a referral in April. It's getting closer!

CNY Party 2008

Well another CNY Party without my TWO Girls. We had a great time! Pictures came out lousy. Dark and lots of people walking in front of the camera, not on purpose, just a crowded and busy place!
We had a Chinese buffet and chicken fingers and fries for the children.
Then make your own sundaes for dessert and an assortment of cookies!
There was face painting, and crafts for the children...and of course lots of vendor booths to shop!!
I ordered a mother's bracelet with my 2 girls names on it. I will post a picture of it when I get it. I also bought a gold necklace with a double happiness charm. It was marked down from $245.00 to $90.00. I just couldn't resist. I won't wear these until I am home with both my girls.
I also bought 2 tee shirts with the "Meant To Be Together" logo on it.
Donations to the Rainbow Fund for orphanages in China. I also donated to the Rainbow Fund to help with the hard times they are having in China due to the horrible weather. They mentioned that some of the children in the orphanages are suffering from frost bite. This broke my heart that these children are so very very cold. Our children, waiting to come home.
So come on referrals. Let us bring our children home!

This is just a small picture of the Dragon Dance. See what I mean about the pics being dark?


Loren enjoys watching the Chinese Performers, she loves to watch the Chinese girls dancing and loves to listen to the Chinese instruments but Loren is a bit afraid of the Dragon portion of the show.
The drums are very loud and Loren's sensory issues come in too play.
This is the only time she wants to "hang around" with me.
I have to cover her ears because her "arms get tired" covering her OWN ears!
She sits in front of me and I cover her ears so she can enjoy the show.
Not too many pictures when my hands are "tied up".

A good time was had by All!

Another Anniversary

I wonder just how many more of these I will need to post??

Congratulations to all who received referrals this month!
It has been a very long wait. Enjoy!!

Do I Dare??

Do I dare believe the rumors??
Its starting to look like referrals MAY be up to Dec. 27th!!! That is 8 days of LID's (log in dates)!!
I am SO trying to remain CALM! But all this chatter about the 27th is making me weak.
If and I say IF this is true then I may get a referral in March or April! I was really starting to think that a June referral was for me. IF this is true, then I really need to get organized!
I have left this adoption on the back burner for so long that now I am going to need to get serious and start MOVING!!
I need to get some crisp bills (if this is still required). I need to start buying some gifts to take with me. I need to check out the summer wardrobe for Loren and I. Get some good comfortable sandals, sneakers.
Need to get the bedroom ready for both girls! No...wait....I better wait on that. Not sure how old she will be. Don't want to put up the bed thinking an older child and find out that I really needed a crib. I better wait on that.
File my taxes!! So I can have some extra money for my 12 week leave.....ahhh , now that sounds nice!
Come On CCAA ...Let it be TRUE!!

How Old Are You Abigail?

*The poll was not working correctly. ( yeah blogger!) So I started it again. Please try to vote again.
I am truly curious what all of you think.
Thanks.

*UPDATE: I have been asked by a few what age was requested by the "older parents"?
Below is part of the response from my agency to me via email .
They don't mention the actual age requested by the older parents just that they were referred "outside the age range"
"The children who have been referred that were outside the age range that the parents were requesting were 3 or 4 years old. "

So come on people!! Please vote! It only takes a second!
What age do you think Abigail will be at referral?
It's just for fun and something to do during the wait!









With my agency's monthly update there was mention that the CCAA is now referring older children to older parents...(that would be me).
So that got me thinking???? I emailed my agency with that question. I asked them how old are the children that are being referred to the older parents?
The answer was 3-4 years old! Wow! So now I am thinking that Abigail may be 4 Years Old!!
Not only has this wait gotten so very unpredictable, now the age of my daughter has gotten that way as well!! I am so glad I have not bought anything for Abigail as yet.
I have now started saying "little sister" when speaking of Abigail to Loren instead of "baby sister"!
Just for fun I asked Loren how old she thought her sister was and she said 4 Years Old!! (she is not aware of what ages are being referred)
Loren also told me in 2006 that we would not be going to China until June!
I knew it wasn't June 06 (that was too soon) and at the time I thought that June 07 was out of the question because that was too too long a wait (ha! ha!) But now I think she may be right!! June of 2008!! I still can't believe that it has gotten this long.
With all that said, I have started a poll on the sidebar of how old you think Abigail will be at time of referral.
I will be interested to see what you all think.
Until that day....I wait.

If You Have a Few Minutes

It just takes a few minutes of your time. Please listen

Thank You.

What's a Mother To Do?

Saturday Loren went to a Birthday (Pool) Party. It was one of her "China Sisters" Birthday Party so J had also invited her school friends.
Loren does not like conflict or any type of aggression. She does not know how to deal with it and it makes her very very anxious. Because of this Loren will allow someone, anyone to S#&t all over her.
SO.. Loren is swimming (with floaties) she wades over to the higher side of the pool, making me a bit nervous but I am watching closely. She finally makes it to the ladder (whew) and is beginning to climb up it when "Miss Blondie" decides she wants to climb into the pool. She says to Loren..."could you move!" Loren climbs down and begins wading again. Miss Blondie decides she is going to stay on the ladder!! Uh..Nope not with my daughter wading on the high side!! So I get up from the chair and suddenly Miss Blondie climbs into the water.
I said to Loren go ahead you can climb out. And she does.
THEN..later when it was Pinata time all the girls are waiting in line for their turn to be blindfolded and take their swing, Loren realizes that she has her glasses on and she says to me.."Mom my glasses!" Loren steps out of line briefly to give me her glasses and returns back to her place in line when Miss Blondie says to her..."Hey you can't stay here!" Loren walks to the back of the line...UH NOPE!!...
Big Momma gets up again, takes Loren's hand and politely places her back in line where she was. Saying..."Loren its ok to go back to where you were in line, you ONLY left to give me your glasses". As I walk away I give Miss Blondie "A LOOK".
Now I know kids have to fight their own battles and I am trying to teach Loren to do just that, but a BRAT is a BRAT and I CANNOT stand a BRAT!!

Blogging with a Purpose

Don & Be at Pregnancy by Adoption nominated me for the "Blogging with a Purpose" Award.
Thank You Don & Be.
I was thinking about what the purpose of my blog is.
I started this blog back in May 07 after waiting much much longer than anticipated for my second daughter. I wanted a place where I could vent my frustrations, fears and concerns about this adoption wait, as well as share stories about my life with my beautiful daughter Loren.
Loren had/has many emotional issues but we are working through them with therapy, laughter, tears and of course Prayer.
Many issues I have not discussed here for certain reasons. Mainly Loren's privacy. But please be aware that Attachment, PTSD,and SID issues are REAL. Be prepared. I was not.
Being a mother is the MOST important part of my life. I cherish every moment.
Even during the difficult times, and Boy there are those times!!
Especially when you have to be both Mom AND Dad!



The Award now has to go to 5 bloggers who have not received this award.

So (to my knowledge) the Award now goes to the following bloggers..



Lisa- a cyberfriend who has been there for pep talks, emotional support and cyber hugs when I needed it.

Lisa has just recently received her referral of her second daughter.

Congratulations Lisa!



Kris- the first who welcomed me to "Blogland". She inspires me with her courage and faith.

Carrie- a future travel mate. One that can find humor in most everything during this difficult wait. She has given me a few chuckles from time to time.

Laura- a single mom of 2, waiting for #3! That alone deserves an award!

Hugh and Sonia- a couple who are enjoying their life with their daughter Kailee and
who have given me encouragement during this long wait. I Thank You.





AWARD GUIDELINES:


1. Awarded parties must nominate five people who have not received the award.


2. The blogs that receive the award must serve some purpose.


3. In their post about the award they need to link back to the original entry.


4. Awarded parties must post the award banner on their site. The banner must remain linked to Eric Novak's site.

WHAT?

Myspace Comments

I found this bit of info on another blog.
Their agency sent this email to them with the breakdown of when to expect referrals.
Read'em and Weep.

Here is a breakdown of their ESTIMATES:

2008 - Up to mid March - somewhere between the 14th & 20
2009 - Up to Mid May - somewhere between the 20-30
2010 - Up to the end of August (remember this is a 2006 LID)
2011 - Up to the end of November
2012 - US...we are the beginning of December.

I can only hope that this is JUST an estimate and referrals will eventually speed up.

It just has too.

LID 1-5-06 Happy Anniversary to ME!!

Will there ever be an end???
To tell you the truth..I am really getting tired of this wait.
And to think that I thought the wait for Loren was long!!
(14 itzy bitzy months!)
"sigh"

The Journey Continues........

BUT ARE THEY??

Well it looks like another 5 days worth of referrals.
Congratulations to All who received their referral. It's been a long wait and I am very happy for everyone and LOVE seeing all the baby pictures!!
My guess was that the CCAA would refer up to Dec. 20th. I was off by 1 day.
But 1 day could mean 1-2 months longer before I get a referral.
Right now (and this may change again) I think that I will get a referral in May (good case) or June (not so good case).
What I can't believe (well maybe I can) is that my friend Karyn had a LID of 10-26-05
Remember that 2 day referral batch?
She got her referral in April 07 and traveled the end of May.
My LID is 1-5-06 which is 10 WEEKS after Karyn's and it looks like I will get my referral ONE YEAR later!!!
YOU HAVE GOT TO BE KIDDING ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
WHAT IS UP WITH THAT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Since I have ABSOLUTELY NO CONTROL over this ridiculous, scary and unsettling wait,
I try to look at the postives...

1. Packing will be lighter traveling in the HOT HOT HOT humid weather.

2. I am able to save more money.

3.I will have the whole summer off from work!
4. Loren will miss very little (if any) school.
5. And last but not least...maybe I can lose some weight before travel!
Diet #1,782,345.

Here's to a Great 2008!

In the New Year, Loren and I wish you all the best.
May you realize your fondest dreams
and take time to recognize and enjoy
each and every blessing.
Happy New Year!

My Special Angel